A Big Dilema...
How do you say no to this?
Over the past week I have pushed the limits with my respiratory system and after a very serious visit with my doctor yesterday I have been faced with the fact that we will probably have to get rid of our dogs. That's right - not just the 13 puppies, but Shiloh and Dude as well.I feel like crying every time I think about it. I feel like I am tearing my family apart. Jason says he is fine with whatever we have to do, but I know it's killing him. Just a few months ago we went through this when we realized we probably won't be able to have more children. I feel like I am destroying all of his dreams. He has always wanted a big family with man's best friends at his side playing with his kids. Now he's stuck with a sick wife and not much else. Ahhhh! I just want to scream.
I keep having Dr. Kagie's words going through my mind, "You have reached a point where any contact with your dogs could kill you. Do you understand? The Epi-Pen is going to keep you alive long enough for the parametics to arrive and hopefully save your life." The conversation just went on and on. She definitely scared me this time. It's so easy to just live in denial. I can easily justify not going to the ER... "I can still breath a little bit..." I am just so stupid.
So, what do I do? Any advice? I am listening... finally.
5 comments:
Meg, that doesn't sound like fun at all! I'm glad I'm not in your shoes trying to make those decisions. Jake is dying for a dog and I just can't quite figure out what to tell him!
I had no idea that your allergy was that bad! This has to be such a hard decision, but it looks like it is one that you don't really have a choice in the matter. I guess that is why it is so heartwrenching. Maybe you can find close family or friend that would would to take your dogs. That way your husband and kids could still be able to see them when they want to. Good luck on figuring it all out.
Meg. I think what Heavnely Father is trying to tell you is that it is time to put all of these hopes and desires aside, and let Him do his part. I too have struggled with certain 'limitations' in my life, and I know it has affected the people that love me most. Jay will stay by your side through it all, and your beautiful daughters will bring you more joy than you could imagine. I say do everything in your power to make SURE that you stay the mother and wife that they need you to be. I am so sorry. This is not fun, but you are strong and can do anything. My prayers will for sure be with you! Jen
This stinks, but you and your human family are much more important than man's best friend. Jay would much prefer a loving home without dogs than being a widower. He married you for a reason and seems like a fabulous guy that understands that life doesn't always go as planned.
MEG!! I wish I could come over and give you a big hug and then we could be silly and laugh like the old days. It's amazing this life we live. We think we have it all planned out, just the way want it, when really, there's a greater plan in store for us that sometimes seems to throw us off and we're stuck in confusion and pain, etc... Even the most difficult things to understand in the moment, make complete sense after the fact. The challenge is to have faith, act on our promptings, and enjoy the life we have, no matter the struggles we face. The cool thing is, the Lord knows what's best for us and is trying to get us to reach for it. Sure He works in mysterious ways, but how could we grow and rise to our potential if He didn't? You are an amazing person and I have always been encouraged by your example. I don't think you realize how wonderful and influential for good you can be. Keep on! I love you!
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